Cemetery Crawl - Ancestors in 52 Weeks

 Another prompt by 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks challenge. It's run by Amy Johnson Crow.

Information on the Topic

Cemeteries are such special places; I feel drawn even to those where I don't have any ancestors buried. Which cemetery is special in your family's history? Do you have a story about "visiting" a special relative?

The first cemetery I was in was when my grandmother died and at her ceremony at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Newburgh, NY.  It was interesting because I wasn't sure what to expect, but I arrive just as the ceremony was beginning. I stood on the sidelines watching the ceremony and the people. There were A LOT of people. I had to fight my mother to be there because she wasn't going to even take me to this - her boyfriend ended up driving me and she stayed at home. I was 15 years old. 

My grandmother and I before her passing in 1988. Credit: M. Schmitz

As they finished up, it started to lightly rain. My stepmother came over to me, told me "She would want you to have this" and shoved an umbrella at me, turned and left. I grabbed the umbrella because that's all I could do. I turned and got back into the car and went home. No one else acknowledged me nor ever brought up that day. 

I never went into another one until I moved to Australia and a friend of ours died. Once again I wasn't sure of what to expect nor of what was to be done. Since then, I've gotten accustomed to them. I was at my uncle's ceremonies, my brother's, and various other people here in Australia. 

All this before I really got into genealogy. 

Once I started to get into genealogy and found out more, I relaxed more around them. Although, I'm more of a person who would rather walk around where I know someone's body is buried rather than walk over it. When or If I do, I tell them sorry, because I know I'd hate someone to be walking all over me if I were in their place. 

Since then, we've gone looking for relatives last resting spots, helping photograph smaller cemeteries, and helping where we can. Because of this we're confident and have gotten used to walking around them. I know how to act and what to do and how to look things up. 

Now when we go over to the US, we do visiting rounds of the cemeteries - cleaning grass or ice around them if need be and make sure they are all doing fine. I still have a few more I have to find and go to visit, but as we were on a timetable last time, we made much progress and will go and see others as we can. 

My grandmother and her partner Charles. We visited and cleaned off the ice on top of their headstones in 2019. Credit: J. Fitzgerald

We located my great grandparents and grandmother in a cemetery in 2019. We will now go and visit them when we go back each time. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald

Recently, my mother in law passed away. My husband had a small chat with her before she was unable to communicate with us about where she wanted to be buried/cremated and what she wanted. She gave us a tiny bit of instruction - cremated and down with her grandmother and soon to be mother. She had her mother, my husband's grandmother's cremains, still with her when she passed. We were able to go down to where they were and lay her to rest as she wanted. 

My husband added some stuff to bring along with us: a sweater/jumper she liked, a knitted cover that covered her until her last breath, a quilt I had started for her but hadn't finished (am working on it as a memorial quilt now), some jewelry she had, and some food/drink to represent both sides of her family's history - alcohol from the area in Ireland where she had relatives and some Yorkshire puddings to represent that side of her family. 

May 2021 - At the grave site 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald

My husband said a few things, had a bit of a cry, and wished them all a Happy Mother's Day. Yep, she was laid to rest on Mother's Day. 

This being said, we had spent a few hours visiting and laying her to rest on the day. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald

We will keep visiting, because its important to keep in mind those that had come before us. 

Mother's Day 2017

Yes, tomorrow is Mother's Day. A day we recognize as the one person who usually supports and loves us in our very beginning of life from the time of conception until you or your mother dies. I say usually as most of us have mother's who will give us what we need to thrive and survive which the base is usually love.

Here are the important mother's in my life (including me in this so hopefully people can see where these important people fall in my chromosomes) and this is due to their influences and other important deals which, when women raise children, are passed along to their children which in turn cascades down and into me. This makes me simply - me.

Copyright on images used J. Fitzgerald 2017

Myself

I haven't really let it be known in past posts, but I'm not a mother. I have had some pregnancies which have NOT resulted in a live birth. And after a surgery almost 18 months ago, I will never carry a child - ever. Is it difficult and hard? You bet your sweet behind it is. However, there is one avenue which we're currently researching to still become parents - which is surrogacy. If we ever get this lucky, we're hoping someone will be kind enough to do this for us. It would be the best present EVER.

Fostering/Adopting

Some people have asked us about fostering and adopting. We've talked about it,and due to some family things this past year, we'll never go down this road due to our experiences this past year unless something else happens. Do I know what that is? Nope, but its never good to close those options.

However, this year we've experienced a bit of parenting so in a way this year I WAS a mother (in a substitute type of way) - for a short while.

Myself and a child we were helping out in 2016/2017. Taken March 2017.
Copyright on image J. Fitzgerald 2017

As you can see, we were both very happy. Unfortunately, he's not with us full time any longer, but it was a special time.

Women Not Exactly Mother's

There are women out there, like myself, who would nothing better than to have a child. However, it seems like no matter what we do, we are not blessed in them. Do them a favor on day's like Mother's Day - be kind to them? The day is extremely hard for those of us who fall into this category. In fact, I usually hibernate and stay away from the most of the TV and social media because it seems like everywhere you turn its there in your face. After awhile you just want to go in the corner and curl up and cry the rest of the day. Again, please be kind and look after the childless women. We do have feelings too and we intend to get forgotten during these types like many of the other children/family holidays.

Image taken from here.

Mother's Day

My Experiences with Mother's Day
Every year on Mother's Day, and the few days leading up to it, my Facebook news feed gets loaded down with Thank You Mother notes. I can understand for the majority of people, this is a normal every year occurrence. I admit I never used to think of this day as something horrible and with dread. When I was growing up, I even went and made my own cards to give to my mother on this day.

One of my Mother's Day cards growing up

Then I moved from the US to Australia and I was so busy with the move, I didn't realize the day I picked, May 9, was Mother's Day. I remembered earlier that day, but between getting to the airport and my mother's "Well are we done yet? Can I leave?" mixed with with "If you get into any trouble over there I don't want to know" type of statements the statement for Happy Mother's Day just withered away along with my positive attitude on that day.

Then after we married and started to try for children, each step got a little harder during certain days and holidays. This was one of them. Now? Now, after over 15 years of trying to have children, and still no live birth, during these days, I just try and stay away from anything to do with the day because I do understand people being happy about it, but it just makes me feel like crap and a loser as a woman and wife.

How Genealogy helped me
In saying this, I was grateful this year too. Huh? How can you still feel like crap and a loser as a wife and woman?

This year I found ancestors - past women - who I am related to and am thankful they were so strong and together have made me who I am. If these women didn't have the courage and guts then I wouldn't be who I am today.


My Mother

My mother and I

My mother is very strong. Back when she gave birth to me, my father, who was in the US Navy, was out to sea when she went into labor. She was helped by my paternal grandmother to be driven to West Point but then also had to deal with having 4 children at home waiting for her while taking care of a newborn (me). This is the woman I am named after - only because she lost the bet and I'm a girl.

My Maternal & Paternal Grandmothers

My Paternal Grandmother

My Maternal Grandmother

Both of these women were very strong and brave. 
My paternal grandmother, Jean/Geneowfa, who was in my life until my teens, survived Russia, Poland during WW1 and the fighting before WW1. Later, she moved to the US at the age of 10 and learned English and about America. Later, she married, had children, and owned businesses in Newburgh, NY. Everyone loved and respected her and knew better than to try and take advantage of her.

My maternal grandmother, Janet (whom I'm part named after), I only had met a few times in my life. She was born in Pennsylvania,USA. She had many brother's and sisters, but sadly lost a few siblings before they turned 5 due to diseases. Later, she met my grandfather, married and moved to New York to be near his family. They struggled as employment wasn't the best, but she always had her mother and sister's nearby in Newburgh, NY.

My Great Grandmother's

Maryanna Ślepowron Wojtkowska

Geneowfa/Jean's mother was Maryanna. She grew up in Russia Poland among fighting and unrest. However, she married and had my grandmother while going through this. Then her husband went to the US while her and my grandmother stayed behind. After World War 1, they were finally able to leave Russia Poland on the last ship out before they closed the boarders. She arrived in the US without knowing how to speak the language and had to go through a short interview before being allowed into the country. Once inside, she was able to find relatives and set up a life for her and her family.

No known picture of Anna Klepperich

My paternal great grandmother was Anna Klepperich. She was born in Germany. I'm still looking for information on her.

No known picture of Bronislaw Ostrzycki Jagodzinski

 My maternal great grandmother was Bronisława Ostrzycki Jagodzinski. She, too, was born in Russia Poland, but left with her father and some siblings when she was around 14 years old. Her father changed her name to Bridget when they first arrived. However, when her and her husband split, she then changed her name to Bernice and moved to Newburgh, NY to be near her daughters. 

Ane / Annie / Anna Hansine Larsen Gauquie

My maternal great grandmother was born as Ane Hansine Larsen but was known later in life as Annie Larsen Gauquie. She was born in Alrup, Denmark. By the time she was 17 she was a servant on a farm like her brother and had no mother, father or grandmother. At the age of 19, she left Denmark for St. Paul, Mn.in the USA. When she was 24, she met her husband and moved to NY where she was a dairy farmer's wife and mother. She lost one child to drowning and another caught Polio. She milked cows and was even known to been injured by them. She was very loved and well thought of in the community. 



My 2x great grandmothers

 

No known picture of Hansine Emeline Nielsdatter

My maternal 2x great grandmother of Ane (or Annie), was Hansine Emeline Nielsdatter of Denmark. I am still
researching her but I do know she was 42 years old when she passed away according to documents I had found so far.

No known picture of Florentina Van Rompaye

My maternal 2x great grandmother of Joannes Julius was Florentina Van Rompaye Gauquie of Wiekevorst, Belgium. She was a very strong woman as she was a servant when she met her future husband. She got pregnant and was let go of her position, so lived with her widowed brother in-law when she had my great grandfather Joannes Julius. My 2x great grandfather was drafted into the service and it wasn't until he returned home after serving that he found he had a child. Unfortunately, I do not know where she died or is buried.

Walerja (Valerie) Rutkowski Ostrzycki

Another of my maternal 2x great grandmother of Bronisława Ostrzycki Jagodzinski was Walerja (Valerie) Rutkowski Ostrzycki. She was born in Russia Poland where she married and had children.
In fact, when she was 16, she knew who she wanted to marry, but needed special permissions. After going to the church 3 times for bann's or released in the church, her parents finally relented and let them marry. After she had children, the whole family (herself, husband and children) all left Russia Poland for Pennsylvania USA. Where she worked in many positions (including nurse) and lost her 3 youngest children to diseases. She ended up dying from Hodgkin's Disease.

Other Notable Women

On my maternal Jagodzinski's side, I do not know any further information.

On my paternal side, I do not know any further information.

I do have other great's I can go back to but there's only a few lines I can go back that far unfortunately. However, I am still not done looking...and learning.

These are the women that made me who I am, even though I have never met some of them. Each one, a you can see, had a strength in their own way to be proud of and I am proud of them and to be a related to them. If they could do what they did their much different world than what we know of today, then I can surely do the same in today's world. These women give me strength and courage to go on and try things I never would have otherwise.


In fact, I think the women's restroom sign is correct - that its NOT a dress - when you look at this strong line of women I come from.
 

Taken from http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/bathroom-sign-gender-equality-it-was-never-a-dress-tania-katan-1.jpg

To go through what these women have all gone through, they must have been super women.