What's in a Tombstone? - Ancestors in 52 Weeks

This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by Amy Johnson Crow.

Information on the Topic
Week 21's theme is "Tombstone." I've always felt comfortable in cemeteries. I've always been fascinated with the stories scattered among the tombstones. Have any of your ancestors left an intriguing tombstone? Maybe you have a story of your search for where your ancestor is buried. (Any ancestors in Tombstone, Arizona? <g>)

Well I am certainly different than Amy, who came up with the challenge topic, who said she's comfortable in cemeteries. 

While not comfortable, I'm not uncomfortable either. I'm just very aware that people's bodies are under the ground that we may have to walk on to get to other graves or tombstones. I think my husband, who seems very comfortable in them, thinks I'm nuts. 

I, on the other hand, when we walk over the ground, I apologize to the person there for walking on them and try and walk around where their bodies are buried. I'm just showing respect to them because its not their fault we have to walk over them or might just step on their feet. I'm very aware of this. 

Anyhow, as any regular readers to my blog know, in 2019 we went back to the US and there I found a huge amount of tombstones of my relations. I even found my grandmother which I was shocked about because we had no idea where she was buried. In fact, we are still fighting to get her death certificate and she died in 1999. Unfortunately, we'll never know what types of diseases or anything she might have had or what was done to her because she was in state custody due to needing mental care. 

After we got back and I started to share the pictures after our trip, one of my cousins asked me about one of the other tombstones. "Who is the person next to our great grandfather? His tombstone and grave seems awful close to his, so their must have been a connection. Can you find one?" 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald. Taken January 2019. My great grandparents in front and my grandmother in the back (Gauquie). 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald taken in January 2019

Well I did research it a bit both on Find a Grave, Billiongraves and even the newspapers. I didn't find much which is pretty puzzling. 

So the mystery continues....

This being said, a story was told to me by my Uncle. Apparently he was told before his grandmother Bernice died, she told everyone she did NOT want to be buried with her husband no matter what. While I thought this was weird, I accepted it for what it was worth. 

Afterwards, I found where great grandma Bernice was buried. Also what I found was while her husband wasn't buried with her, he bought to plot next to her and was buried there. He's the one that has this mystery tombstone on the other side of him. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald. Taken January 2019. This shows just how close Pavlik was to my great grandfather. Further my great grandmother's tombstone looks like she's trying to lean away from him as much as she can! 

Earlier this month, August 2020, one of my other cousins who had a bit to do with my grandmother (his great aunt) and our great grandmother, he was told by his father that Bernice's husband was a really bad drunk. This is probably the reason why she didn't want anything to do with him. My mother told me his kids didn't want anything to do with him either. 

Sometimes Tombstones can tell you a lot and sometimes not so much...

Like with my great aunt Honey. Her name was never put on the headstone at all, but her grandson says she was buried there. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald. Taken January 2019. The blank area is where my great aunt Honey is said to be buried according to her grandson. 

The Challenging Jagodzinski / Barry Family - Ancestors in 52 Weeks

This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by Amy Johnson Crow.

Topic Info:
What would genealogy be without a few challenges. (And yes, this is similar to a theme we had at the beginning of the year. I'm willing to bet you have more than one challenging ancestor -- I know I do!) Who has been a challenge to find? What location is challenging to research?

Honestly, I could have sat here and done a few different areas of the family as I still have brick walls around, but nothing frustrates me more than the Jagodzinski or Barry area of my family. This is my grandmother and her father's side of the family.

Janet Dorothy Jagodzinski Gauquie. Credit J. Gauquie

Using the Jagodzinski (also used Jagodrinski) and Barry as last names
As far as I've been told, my maternal grandmother was born Janet Jagodzinski in May 1911 in Pennsylvania. I have not been able to find her birth entry, certificate or church entry as yet. Her life from 1911 until 1930 is basically a mystery.

I found her father's Declaration of Intention in 1930 and what I think is their entry in the 1930 US census which matches basic information in 1930, but this is it until....

In 1934 and 1935 I found she was living in Newburgh, NY and going by the name of Janet Barry according to some US City Directories. I believe this is her as I've found other information as Janet Barry which I'll get to later.

The highlights above show my grandmother and her sister Pauline living and working at the same place. Credit

I have not found her entry in the NY state marriage index either, but where they married in NY or in Pennsylvania? This is the question...

In the 1940 census, Grandma Janet is married and located with my grandfather, Louis, my uncle and mother and in Newburgh, NY. It backs up she was born in Pennsylvania and she was living in Salisbury Mills, NY in 1935 and on a farm. This farm would have been my great grandfather, Jules Gauquie's, farm I believe (below).

This is the family farm which Janet probably mentioned on the 1940 census about where they were living in 1935. Credit. J. Fitzgerald taken Jan 2019

It wasn't until I ordered in 2 more pieces of information which started to unlock the name confusion information and mystery - but not completely.

I ordered in my grandmother Janet's Social Security Application she filled out (below). There it listed her mother and father reminding you she filled out the form, so she should know who her parents are right? On the form, her father, my great grandfather, was listed as Leo Barry and her mother's name Bernice Ostrzycki. My mother told me her grandfather's name was Appolanus Jagodzinski and her grandmother's name was Bernice but didn't know what her maiden name is/was. Yep I'm confused...who was the correct father? Where they the same?

Janet's Social Security Application. Credit: Social Security Administration

The other form I ordered in was my grandfather Louis' Railroad Board record. On this, he put my grandmother's name down as Janet Barry Gauquie. Interesting as she was actually born as Janet Jagodzinski I was told. I cannot find her birth certificate to find out and I've looked several times, so what's going on?

My grandmother's name on my grandfather's RailRoad Retirement Board application. Credit: RailRoad Retirement Board 

This locked in my grandmother's maiden name as Janet Barry, which then I found the city directories I mentioned above, but as far as I knew my mother told me her birth name was Janet Jagodzinski.

Anyhow, I asked my cousin Jason if our grandmother's name was Barry or Jagodzinski. He didn't know anything about this side of the family and said he'd try to ask his father. My mother had 2 brothers - one had died in California and Uncle Jimmy was still living in New York. Uncle Jimmy is Jason's father. However, no one, not even other cousin's who knew of our grandmother, knew about the last name, so it was an unanswered question.

Earlier this year (2019), we had to go back to New York, and I met up with my uncle and cousin's. As we were talking, he came out with "You know they used the Barry name right?" meaning his mother's family.

My mouth dropped open and I nodded slowly saying I had some idea they did but nothing of proof. Then I asked the one question I wanted to know - why? The answer was as easy as "They were having problems getting employed because of the name so they changed it to get jobs and to sound more American." Standard answer but it was the answer I had come down too, but didn't have any confirmation until then.

The feeling I felt after my uncle told me the information on the Barry/Jagodzinski last name connection. Credit

One question answered, but many more to go about this family.

Janet Jagodzinski / Barry's father
I had found out about Grandma Janet's mother, Bernice, and had found her HUGE family. I do mean huge and some are still in Pennsylvania and others have moved south for different reasons.

On the other hand Grandma Janet's father, Appolanus Jagodzinski / Barry, is more of a question mark. On Grandma Janet's Social Security Application she put down Leo Barry, which the last name matches if you believe the Barry story above.

Where did the Leo come from? Talking to some other Polish researchers and I found many people with the name Appolanus had Americanized it to Leo. This makes my great grandfather's whole name Americanized now and very common unfortunately.

However, where did he come from? Where is he?

I have very little information on Appolanus I have to admit. I've had the US Immigration Service do searches on him and found a Intention for Naturalization which wasn't completed and in Pennsylvania. Of course the arrested for Robbery which was a mistake and he can't remember anything probably wasn't a good thing. However, it did contain something interesting. It confirmed he was in Pennsylvania and in New York - both places I know my ancestors were.

Appolanus' Declaration of Intention Paperwork from US Naturalisation Service

Appolanus' 2nd page - love the Robbery line above.

Further it contained Alien Cards from the 1940s and early 1950s so I could track where he had lived.

One of the many Address cards Alien's had to fill out until the 1950s. Credit: US Naturalisation Service

I was able to locate another Declaration of Intention in September 1930 where my great grandmother, all great aunts, uncles and grandmother are listed on this paper.

Appolanus' Declaration of Intention paperwork in the 1930s with wife and children listed. Credit

The problem is the information just - stops - until his obituary shows up in 1967 which I had just located in January 2019. He wasn't even listed on his wife's obituary which was interesting but not fully unexpected. My mother told me everytime someone referred to him as a pain and no one wanted him or anything to do with him because he was mean.

As for where he's buried, I found in January 2019, he's buried next to his wife, Bernice in New Windsor, New York.

Where they are buried with my grandmother behind the cross. Credit: J. Fitzgerald Taken 2019

The information he gives out is very little and I can't trace it back at all. I would love to know where in Poland he comes from, but even with using the ship manifest and Declaration of Intentions, it doesn't narrow it down at all to me because there could be many places called the same thing in Poland.

This is what I feel like doing everytime I try to unravel this side of the family. Credit

Janet Jagodzinski's siblings?
This is another huge problem I have. It seems like the surviving sons, stayed in Pennsylvania for some reason. I have no idea why other than they must have wanted to stay close to their mother's side of the family, but have no idea if they had done this. However, talking to the Ostrzycki's, and their ancestors, and they always said that Bernice and her family just disappeared. They used to hear some news when Bernice called, but lost contact once she passed away.

My grandmother's sisters? I found them around the Newburgh area too.
Aunt Honey, or Genevieve who was the youngest sister, was married and had children. My mother and her were very close until my mother left my father.

Aunt Honey, Genevieve Jagodzinski, in her later years. Credit 

Pauline, or Apolonia I think was her formal name listed on the Alien Cards, was the oldest. I know she had married and had children. At least one of these, Alberta, went to school with my father. He says she lives in Florida now, but hasn't told me where or how to contact her. There is very little information on Pauline other than the census information I've been able to find and according to my father.

Wilma, who was the second youngest sister, I found lived with Pauline at one point but went under the name of Vilma which was Americanized name, and she lived in Newburgh, NY as well.

I obtained this information from the 1930 census, which had Bernice as Virginia, Leo Jagodzinski, and the kids which all match the obituaries I had found. And I found Pauline and Vilma on the 1940 census, by then all the kids had up and married and/or moved out like Vilma.

The 1930 Census listing the Jagodzinski's including Leo and ages. Credit: US Government

However, once again, they all disappeared. I know very little information on most. The one I have the most information, but even this is spotty, is Genevieve. I think this is because my grandmother and mother were close, so they stayed in touch until the early 1970s. However, this is only a guess as my father said my mother and Genevieve were always talking on the phone and I can't remember them speaking after my parents divorced in the 1970s.

Who were and are these Jagodzinski's? Do they still go by the name Barry or have the reverted back to the name Jagodzinki's?

Last week, I was in a meeting and one person brought up a statement which was "Most of the time people just have to ask and others have a hard time saying no."

I'm now taking the time to ask - Where ARE you??? Please come and talk to me....

Credit

Discovery At the Cemetery - Ancestors in 52 Weeks

This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by Amy Johnson Crow.

Topic Info.: 
What discoveries have you made at the cemetery? Do you have a favorite ancestral cemetery or tombstone? What cemetery do you want to visit?

I waited to write this until I had further questions and information Amy put with the prompt because I could have interpreted this a few different ways like with the past topics of Nature and Nurture.

My History in Cemeteries

My grandmother's obituary in 1988 from the Times Herald Record

Over the years, my history with being in cemeteries hasn't been much. The first time I ever went into one was when I was when I was 15 years old. My paternal grandmother, Jean Schmitz, died. I found out by looking in the newspaper as was a ritual with my mother. Also, I knew she was very sick in the hospital because my sister, Debbie, called us and told us. I insisted my mother take me to St. Luke's in Newburgh to see her. It was an eye opening visit to say the least with my grandmother looking so small in bed and talking in many languages and about how she was seeing things with my father and uncle. Shortly after this visit, I found she had passed away and I wanted to go. My mother, however, put up a fight and I made my ultimatum - You take me or else I'll walk to entire way. It it would have been a walk because the town we lived in to where she was buried was about 20 miles to walk each way. I would have done it and my mother knew this. She finally relented and had her boyfriend bring me. He parked on the side and stood by the car while I went to the side and attended the ceremony. No one spoke to me or anything. Then when it was over, I turned for the car so I could go because it was starting to lightly rain. However, my father's second wife came over to me telling me my grandmother would want me to have this and shoved an umbrella at me and turned and left me there. I shook my head and turned and left. I'm still not sure if anyone else knew I was even there.

Anyhow, I didn't know where it was after this and I was so busy I didn't visit for awhile. It wasn't until I started doing genealogy research, I remembered about her obituary. We had a few other people here in Australia pass away, but it wasn't until we went back in 2001, my husband and I went to find Grandma Jean again.

When my uncle died in 2002, we went back to see Grandma after Uncle John's services. I was a bit more in my research but still very new to this type of research. It wasn't until after my uncle passed away I really dived into it and started to find people. In the last five years, I found so many relatives and ancestors both alive and dead it makes me dizzy when I sit down and try to list them all.

Now I'm pretty seasoned to what to look for and what to do. It did help being a volunteer and going to take pictures in a cemetery a few years ago. We had our nephew William with us and we were teaching him how to do things respectfully and he did enjoy it too.

Our nephew, William, in July 2016 helping with wetting down headstones for taking pictures for Find a Grave.

 In the past 8 and a bit years, we hadn't been back to the US where my family and ancestors are for my immediate family. Upon my brother's passing in January 2019, we went back and did some research in cemeteries. It was winter but we were able to work around the weather to go visit 3 of them which was great. This lead me to a.....

Major Discovery at the Cemetery!
I had where my grandparents (all except for my paternal grandfather - still looking for him!) and great grandparents are buried (except for my paternal side but they are in Germany which are gone now). This trip back, as unexpected as it was, let me go and find the resting places of the people I was able to find.

To save time, I went and gathered the ancestors and where they were buried grouping them by the cemetery. I listed the relative, their relation to me, the cemetery, its address and if they had it the GPS location. GPS location seems a bit funny and weird but it really did help with this major discovery.

We visited my grandmother, grandpa Charlie, and uncle John before continuing with the new information and cemeteries. The first one up was my great grandparents in St Francis Cemetery in New Windsor. This one was strange because it was listed on St Francis Cemetery and yet the church is listed as St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in Newburgh, NY. They were in two different towns but were connected. Then when you look at the map, there're two cemeteries a huge one and then up on the side a smaller one (below).

The two cemeteries shown side by side in New Windsor NY. Credit Google Earth

We drove around the bigger one thinking this was it, but I also told my husband it could have been the smaller one up there (and I pointed) but I wasn't sure. After looking for a bit, we then put in the GPS details and it showed us that it was indeed the smaller cemetery on the side.

My maternal great grandparents which are both buried at St Francis Church. Credit as noted above.

I was using my great grandparents Bernice and Apolonius Jagodzinski because they were both listed as being buried there. Thankfully, this one was much smaller in size and we were slowly driving up the road looking to see if we could see the Jagonzinski name. My husband had finally seen it and pulled over. We got out of the car and walked back to where he thought he had seen it. Before I had seen the Jagodzinski headstones, I made my major discovery.... my grandmother's headstone!

My great grandparent's headstones with my grandmother Janet Gauquie's behind theirs. Credit: J. Fitzgerald

Gone but not forgotten

My grandmother had been in state care since they came and took her after she was staying with her sister, Genevieve in Newburgh sometime after 1960. No one in the family knew when or where my grandmother had died. I found out she had died through my research which was a very sad way to find out. My mother and all of us had looked for her for years. This one was one reason why we looked at the obituaries every day.

My sister, Debbie, once found my grandmother Janet in a nursing home in Newburgh, and my mother and I went down as soon as we could to visit her. My mother had them write in my grandmother's file who she was and how she could be contacted so there was a link to us. This was the year, in the 1980s, when we were able to bring her to our home on South Montgomery Street, Walden, to have Thanksgiving dinner with us. However, within a few months, they had moved my grandmother again.  We went to visit her and found she had been moved out of the facility or so they had told us. Once again the searching was on.

My grandmother Janet's SSDI.

After awhile, my mother accepted Grandma Janet had died, but no one had called us with the information still. When I started researching, she was one of the people I was trying to find. I finally found her social security death index and found she had died about 18 months before I really started my family research.

I had the heartbreaking task of telling my mother her mother had died in 1999. I gave her what little information I could, but told her I was still looking and I promised her to not give up looking because we wanted to know where she was.

I didn't give up and kept finding more and more out about my grandmother, up until where she was until 1960 when she placed an add about selling some land on Walsh Ave in Newburgh, NY.

June 22 1960 06 22 from Warwick Valley Dispatch, Page 4

I knew she was still in Newburgh, NY in 1964 (above) when her mother passed, but this was second hand to filled out the obituary which is not always reliable.There was nothing on where she was buried and no obituary for my grandmother Janet. I knew she would have been buried due to her being so faithful to the Roman Catholic religion.

"Grandma!" I gasped.

My grandmother Janet's headstone, me and my brother (in urn) two weeks after his death.

Getting back to the story, I was walking towards where my husband said he saw the last name Jagodzinski. I looked up and zeroed in on just one headstone... and all I did was gasp and say "Grandma!" and went directly to her headstone standing in front of it in disbelief.

I finally found where my grandmother Janet is buried and I found her as I had promised my mother I would.

It took me over 20 years, but I had done it. I let one of my sister's, my cousins, and my uncle Jimmy know. My cousins and uncle Jimmy all want to know what she died of and to prove she is buried there.

I know, in my gut, she's buried there, to be near her mother but not so much her father, but her mother I think she was extremely close to. I say not so much her father, because my mother once told me none of his kids liked him because he was a nasty and cruel man.

I know there's more paperwork to track down for record keeping sake, but not, for me, this is enough and closure. They won't be moving her from here that's for sure.

A Promise is a Promise no matter what

While I lived up to my promise, too bad it came too late for my brother to find out as he had died weeks prior to the finding and my mother has dementia pretty badly and probably won't even remember anything about my promise, but I will. I say this because upon a recent call I made to my mother, she didn't remember my brother dying and this is after I had called her, twice, to see how she was just after it happened and talked to one of the nurses which assured me my mother knew of his passing from my sister, Theresa.

There are a few other ancestral cemeteries around in the US, in which we did visit some and not others, but for now this was the one that had the biggest impact on me as I am my grandmother Janet's namesake.

Road Trips all over Australia and USA - Ancestors in 52 Weeks

This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by Amy Johnson Crow.

Topic overview:

Here are a few ways you might interpret this prompt: an ancestor who moved a long distance, an ancestor who traveled for work, an ancestor you took a road trip in order to research, an ancestor who was a mechanic or was involved in the automobile business.

My husband and I do road trips when we can. My husband and I are both working on our family histories, so it can get interesting. We live in Australia, and so we go on more road trips to put his family history together. However, this being said, we usually go back to where I grew up in New York every few years, so we intend to do as much research road trips as we can mix in with catching up with family and friends, which makes it a busy time.

January and February 2019, we did the normal road trip - Fly from Melbourne Australia to Newark, New Jersey to visit family in the Hudson Valley in New York. It was for the sad event of my brother's death, but the upside was many treasures and information was found even with the limited time we had.

First up, the bad picture at the entry point in California. I'm going to apologize ahead of time for it. Out of the bad pictures you can have, this one was the WORST. You know its bad even when my husband says "Boy, that was a bad picture. The future generations are going crack up at that one!" Oh yeah it was bad.

Basically what I looked like (minus bags under eyes) in dog format. Credit

Then we went to check in and then off to see my father, who still lives in the area. This started the research trip, as my father, who's in his 80s, like to recap history now. It helps I am now open to it as well, but he does intend to repeat himself, but sometimes the repeating you catch something you didn't the first time and can ask questions about it.

Myself and my father at the VFW in New Paltz, New York. 

Besides, my brother's ceremony, we did get to spend a bit of time with my sister in law and nephew which was really good. I think it was helpful, to spend time with them and talk things out as we were, and still are, all still grieving.

Anyway, some of the highlights of the research trip:

• Found out how my parents met - at a movie theater where he worked. 

Mentions where my father lived and where he worked. Credit

• Found out about what he knew about my mother's father and oldest brother which was what I had heard and already figured out. 

My grandfather is 39 and proves what I had thought due to the way my mother talked. Credit

• Found out about how much he knew about my Uncle Jimmy and how much time he spent with them and my great grandmother (their grandmother) and how little time he spent with my great grandfather (their grandfather). 
• I got to drive around where my great grandfather on my mother's father's side had land and got to take a picture of the house where my grandfather was born. Its since been sold a few times and is not in the family. 

The house where my great grandparents lived, and my grandfather and all his siblings lived in Blooming Grove. Picture taken January 2019. Copyright B. Fitzgerald

• Found out where my mother's side were buried including grandparents, great grandparents, great aunts and uncles. We never knew where my grandmother Janet was buried and I found a headstone with her information on it, but we still have to clarify if her remains are buried there, but my gut is saying she is.

Various pictures around cemeteries we visited. Credit: J. Fitzgerald

• Visited my great uncle's name on the war memorial in Newburgh. I have his wings which he gave to my mother and my mother gave to me. 

The wings of James J Sherman. Credit J. Fitzgerald

Memorial which has Jimmy's name listed we visited January 2019. Credit: J. Fitzgerald

Memorial which has Jimmy's name listed, close up, we visited January 2019. Credit: J. Fitzgerald

• Found out why my grandmother's last name changed to Barry from Jagodzinski. I researched it and found they were probably berry farmers in Poland, but found they had changed it, so my great grandfather (and family) would be more Americanized name. They were thinking they were being passed over for jobs and other things due to their name. 
• Spent some quality time with my cousins and Uncle Jimmy learning more and having questions answered if we knew. 

My Uncle and cousins on my mother's side with me in February 2019. Credit J. Fitzgerald

• Also, visited where my paternal grandparents had their bar and grill in the 1940-1960s in Newburgh. 

As you can see, it was a full two weeks we were there. We always have things to do and try and do fun stuff, as well, so we went to see Washington's Headquarters for my husband's family history is part of (a relative did a smaller tower in Ireland as a tribute to Washington) and we went for a walk over the Walkway over the Hudson. 

My husband at a snowy Washington's Headquarters in Newburgh Jan 29, 2019. Credit J. Fitzgerald

My husband at Walkway over the Hudson Jan 28, 2019. Credit J. Fitzgerald

Even with snow and ice mixed in with a memorial, you can always find something to with genealogy.