What's in a Tombstone? - Ancestors in 52 Weeks

This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by Amy Johnson Crow.

Information on the Topic
Week 21's theme is "Tombstone." I've always felt comfortable in cemeteries. I've always been fascinated with the stories scattered among the tombstones. Have any of your ancestors left an intriguing tombstone? Maybe you have a story of your search for where your ancestor is buried. (Any ancestors in Tombstone, Arizona? <g>)

Well I am certainly different than Amy, who came up with the challenge topic, who said she's comfortable in cemeteries. 

While not comfortable, I'm not uncomfortable either. I'm just very aware that people's bodies are under the ground that we may have to walk on to get to other graves or tombstones. I think my husband, who seems very comfortable in them, thinks I'm nuts. 

I, on the other hand, when we walk over the ground, I apologize to the person there for walking on them and try and walk around where their bodies are buried. I'm just showing respect to them because its not their fault we have to walk over them or might just step on their feet. I'm very aware of this. 

Anyhow, as any regular readers to my blog know, in 2019 we went back to the US and there I found a huge amount of tombstones of my relations. I even found my grandmother which I was shocked about because we had no idea where she was buried. In fact, we are still fighting to get her death certificate and she died in 1999. Unfortunately, we'll never know what types of diseases or anything she might have had or what was done to her because she was in state custody due to needing mental care. 

After we got back and I started to share the pictures after our trip, one of my cousins asked me about one of the other tombstones. "Who is the person next to our great grandfather? His tombstone and grave seems awful close to his, so their must have been a connection. Can you find one?" 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald. Taken January 2019. My great grandparents in front and my grandmother in the back (Gauquie). 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald taken in January 2019

Well I did research it a bit both on Find a Grave, Billiongraves and even the newspapers. I didn't find much which is pretty puzzling. 

So the mystery continues....

This being said, a story was told to me by my Uncle. Apparently he was told before his grandmother Bernice died, she told everyone she did NOT want to be buried with her husband no matter what. While I thought this was weird, I accepted it for what it was worth. 

Afterwards, I found where great grandma Bernice was buried. Also what I found was while her husband wasn't buried with her, he bought to plot next to her and was buried there. He's the one that has this mystery tombstone on the other side of him. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald. Taken January 2019. This shows just how close Pavlik was to my great grandfather. Further my great grandmother's tombstone looks like she's trying to lean away from him as much as she can! 

Earlier this month, August 2020, one of my other cousins who had a bit to do with my grandmother (his great aunt) and our great grandmother, he was told by his father that Bernice's husband was a really bad drunk. This is probably the reason why she didn't want anything to do with him. My mother told me his kids didn't want anything to do with him either. 

Sometimes Tombstones can tell you a lot and sometimes not so much...

Like with my great aunt Honey. Her name was never put on the headstone at all, but her grandson says she was buried there. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald. Taken January 2019. The blank area is where my great aunt Honey is said to be buried according to her grandson. 

Ancestors in 52 Weeks - Maternal Line Brick Wall - Jagodzinski/Barry

This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by Amy Johnson Crow.

The Topic information:
Brick wall is a phrase that strikes fear in the heart of many a genealogist. Who is a brick wall ancestor for you? Who is one that you broke through a brick wall to find? How did you do it? You could also interpret this more literally, like with a family photo of a brick house or an ancestor who was a bricklayer.

One thing I've learned since starting genealogy, is there's just not enough time to do things. I might be concentrating on my maternal line and then my paternal line will start having information available and visa versa. Its been this way ever since. In fact, in the last week, I've had this exact thing happen. My paternal line, though a DNA cousin, had new information she sent to me (Thanks cousin!). Anyhow, I've been concentrating on my maternal line as I've been separating out my tree from my husband's tree on ancestry due to when they did upgrades information went wacky with the names and dates, so I decided to start again which is no small job.

Maternal Line Brick Wall - Jagodzinski/Barry
I would probably say the biggest brick wall I have is my grandmother Janet, and her parents and especially her father. I have found new information in the last few months, but there's more questions than answers mainly.

Usually you start with birth certificates. I have tried finding this for my grandmother (born Janet Jagodzinski but later changed it to Janet Barry) but not to be found. In fact, all of her sister's and brother's I haven't been able to find theirs either. I have found one of their son's death certificate. His name is Stefan Jagodzinski and born on Sept 26, 1915 and died Oct 16, 1916.

His death certificate. Credit

Other than a few documents which list the family (2 Declaration of Intentions, a census where one name had changed and one is missing but all other information is correct) there isn't much on this entire family from the time Bernice/Bronislaw marries until she dies.

My first index search from the NIS gave me this page

and this page. Credit NIS. I love the Robbery mistake and don't remember areas.

Later on in my searches, I found the above paperwork. Credit

I can find her on her father's Declaration of Intention but nothing after that until her obituary.

My great grandmother's obituary which locks in her children's names and places.Credit as above

When I found my great grandfather's obituary in January 2019, this locked in the information even further.

As you can see, the children's names are the same and locks in my great grandmother's name too. Credit

The obituary's locks in everyone and the places.

I had also found on some of my grandmother's documents she's put Jagodzinski Barry in - this includes her social security form, her husband's railway next of kin form - and this started to appear. When I found my great aunt Genevieve's bride index list, her name on this was Barry too.

Notice the Barry on my grandmother's name Credit Social Security Administration

Once again notice the Barry is added after. Credit: Railroad Retirement Board

My oldest Uncle's Social Security Change on his Death Index. Notice his mother's name is Barry. Credit

The last entry on the bottom is for my great aunt Genevieve. Credit

My great aunt Pauline's and Vilma/Valerie's 1940's US Census. They were both Barry's but Pauline married Harold Davis but Vilma still has the Vilma Barry name. Pauline is just as much of a ghost as all the others even after she marries.

It was in January, I found out why they started to go by the name Barry - it was more American than Jagodzinski. My Maternal Uncle Jimmy said this is the reason for the change. I had a feeling this was the case, but he didn't know why they picked that name. I knew the reason because I went looking.

 They took the e out of berry and replaced it with an a. Credit

However, my great grandmother, Bernice, and her side of the family, I can find out information about. The whole family has their lives played out in the newspapers.

Death certificates? Well, I've been trying to get my grandparents (all of them) certificates for years, but NY is really awful for dealing with. My maternal cousins (Hi out there!) are currently working on trying to get our grandmother Janet Gauquie's death certificate but the state and county are playing off against each other and causing us more headaches. Yes, we have her Social Security Death Index information, but even that isn't helping.

Credit

At least I was able to find out where my great grandparents and grandmother are buried and I was able to visit them in January 2019.

My great grandparents (front) my grandmother (back). Picture on left back unknown. Credit. J. Fitzgerald

After looking for years, I found my grandmother and her parents. My brother (on top of the headstone as he had just died thus why I look like something ran me over) and I went to visit January 2019. Credit: J. Fitzgerald

Ancestors in 52 Weeks - Challenge

This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by Amy Johnson Crow. This week's topic is challenge. Amy gives us general and broad topics so we can run with it how we like.

I've thought long and hard about this one and can't really make up my mind, so I'll encompass both or try to.

I'm going to start off with the word challenge. We all have stated in some form that life is a challenge. However, what is the exact meaning of the term? Dictionary.com give ten (yes ten!) different noun meanings to the word.

The first five definitions are probably the most used. These are:

1. a call or summons to engage in any contest, as of skill, strength, etc.
2. something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc.: Space exploration offers a challenge to humankind.
3. a call to fight, as a battle, a duel, etc.
4. a demand to explain, justify, etc.: a challenge to the treasurer to itemize expenditures.
5. difficulty in a job or undertaking that is stimulating to one engaged in it.

Now depending on which definition you use, is how you can write this week's post. Mine, as you will see, is a combination of a few of these. I've had these challenges since before I started researching, but its only made me more determined. 

The two biggest challenges are listed below: My Mother and Apolonius Jagodzinski.

Challenge 1: My Mother

My family was different than others when I was growing up. It was challenging. My parents had

My mother in 1999. Photo credit Jo Ann J. Fitzgerald

divorced when I was very young. I knew of my paternal grandmother, who I spent some time with, an uncle who would appear like magic, with my nephews, every now and then. That's all the extended family I had unlike many of the others I went to school, girl scouts, and a few other things with had. 

So I asked my mother, who had primary care of me. The first few times she didn't answer. I waited a few years and asked again. "They are all dead." and she let it go until I saw my maternal grandmother and asked again. "She's the only one left and I'm not sure on how long we'll have her. They'll [the state of NY] will move her again once they know I've found her." and that was it. I had only seen my maternal grandmother a total of 3 times my entire life that I can remember. 

In my teens, I asked her a few more times and got the "They are all dead. My mother too by this point." and I left it as my mother this time got really sad and depressed. I didn't know where to even start my look because no one was talking about relatives. 

Talk about challenges just to get her to say anything. 

Then my paternal grandmother died as well. I knew she was in the hospital and wasn't doing well, and I asked to go see her. My mother told me no because she would be dead soon too. I persisted and told her if she didn't, I'd walk there myself. I didn't know where she was but I was resourceful enough to find out and my mother knew this and took me. 

It was eye opening because when I walked into the hospital room, this little old woman was on the bed. Her eyes opened and I looked closer and could see her as my grandmother. She knew who I was because she called my name and then mixed in a few languages including English. The English was your father this and your uncle that. I could tell her mind was going, but her sense of humor was still intact which made me smile.  Within a few days of that, she was gone. Again, I asked to go to the funeral and my mother told me no. I gave her my stubborn look and stood tall and told her I WAS going whether she liked it or not. Once again, I got my way but I wasn't allowed to go to the church, but I was taken to the burial. I arrived and the ceremony started. I stood to the side and no one paid any attention to me as per normal. When it was done, I shook my head and turned to leave. My stepmother, stopped me, telling me my grandmother would want me to have this and shoved an umbrella at me. I took it and got back into the car and we left. 

My paternal grandmother's obituary from the Newspaper I clipped out

I didn't ask after the extended family after that. Not until a few days before I left to move to Australia and get married. Then my mother told me about her cousin Jimmy and gave me his wings. 

James 'Jimmy' Sherman's wings from WW2

Since then, I asked her about her family. She told me her grandfather's [my great grandfather's] name: Apolonius Jagodzinski. She told me the spelling was probably wrong, but he was a bastard and treated everyone like hell. She told me about my grandfathers about how they liked the women, gambling and booze. How her mother left Poland with Quakers leaving behind a dead husband and child. 

I started to do some research. It was slow, but I was finding out my mother kept lying to me. I did find Apolonius Jagodzinski and it took me year to finally link to him, but it was true. Not much else, as far as I could and can see is/was true. 

What's sad was about 3 years ago, I told her I found my cousins and my uncle - her brother - who wasn't dead. I called her out on her lies. She didn't deny it, but I could see her eyes sparkle because she knew I was finding it all out and would continue to do so. However, she kept them from me for the start of my life. 

The sad part is now she has dementia and after about 5 minutes doesn't know who I am any longer. 

Challenge 2:  Apolonius Jagodzinski

I've mentioned this name above in regards to my mother's family. He was my great grandfather. He has been one of the biggest brick walls I've had in my research. Boy, what a challenge! 

I first picked him up on a Naturalization Record Index in 2013. I didn't know what to do with it but kept looking for anything on him as I had over the years. I asked a few people if they heard of it and no one had. 

Naturalization Record Index for him. 

Apolonius' wife's obituary

Then I started to find other things like my great grandmother, his wife Bernice Ostrzycki, obituary.  This was huge because it listed my great aunts and uncles, locations, her parents, her location, and where she is now. However, no mention of Apolonius the husband but only of a son with the same name. 

I started to see how much information I could get on my grandmother, Janet Jagodzinski Gauquie, and see if I could find out anything this way. Once again I was stalled with my brick wall challenge. 

I was getting tired of this brick wall. I found his shipping manifest, but it didn't get me far. I did a search and ordered in Apolonius' naturalization file using the information I located in 2013. Result? We have no number with this name attached. This stunned me as I was looking at the damned thing. Oh well, I do a index search and work my way up. Finally, I hit pay dirt. They found the file on him. I had to wait, but I've already waited awhile anyway so what's a few more months? Finally I got his Alien Registration Form dated 1940 and this number wasn't the same as the other number. It also included more than a few Address Record Cards - Alien Registration for him all over NYC. My mouth dropped open because I never would have placed in in NYC. However, it lists him as married but doesn't give any other names for wife nor number or children names. It also said he had been questioned about a robbery but it was a mistake. I looked all around for anything regarding this and came away with nothing. More dead ends. 

Apolonius' page 1 of his Alien Record from NIS

Apolonius' Alien Registration card after WW2. Record from NIS.

This didn't mean I stopped looking. I found his World War 2 registration, listing my great aunt Pauline's name, My grandmother, Janet, social security number, I could order a copy of her social security form. 

Apolonius' WW2 registration. Located on FamilySearch image 3687.

My grandmother Janet's social security form was a bit of an eye opener. It asks her name which listed her name as Janet Barry. Yep, that confused me as far as I knew she was a Jagodzinski by birth. Then when I got to her father's name listed - Leo Barry. What the...? Everything else was correct, but confusing. 

Janet Barry/Jagodzinski Gauquie's Social Security Application. From Social Security Administration.

Janet's son, Louis J., lists his mother's maiden name as Barry.

The hunt was on for Leo Barry. I found directories in Leo Barry, Apolonius Jagodzinski, and a combination of names. Apparently Apolonius was Americanized to Leo. Jagodzinski was Americanized to Barry or Berry because in Poland they must have once been berry farmers. This makes sense but not his reasoning why he changed names sometimes and sometimes not. However, now it seems the family was also using the Barry name too. 

1930 Census listing a Leo as a boarder but has same last name. Some of the other names have changed but match other information I have on them. 

Business directory with Janet D, Pauline M listed under the name of Barry in 1935.

Business directory with Bernice listed under the name of Barry in 1936. Notice she's been in PA. 

I even checked out Hart Island because I was thinking he might have been buried there because of the comment my mother made "all his kids hated him. He moved in with the oldest but she had him give any money he made to pay for his expenses because he was that bad." I figured if even part of that was true, then she'd probably either not claim his body after he passed or paid for him to be buried cheaply which meant Hart Island for NYC. 

Once again the trail went cold, but the challenge was still on. I found a death certificate for their son Stefan in 1916. I thought I had their wedding certificate, but too much wasn't right about it. Then in 2018, I found a Declaration of Intention for him in 1930! It listed the kids which almost all added up but instead of Janet he put Jennie, but the date of births just about matched up too. Bingo! 

Stefan's death certifiacate in 1916 in Ohio from FamilySearch 

1930s Declaration of Intention (page 1) for Apolonius from Ancestry

In January 2019, I found his death information finally. He's actually buried in the same cemetery as his wife even though he died in NYC. All the formal ceremony things were done same as his wife's. I was and still am shocked. 

Apolonius' obituary and funeral information. For Credit see image.

Brick wall challenge completed? 

Yes and no. The name change really intrigues me and I have large gaps which I want to fill in more, but at least I know where is is laid to rest. It will be interesting to see what else I can turn up. 

Happy but still questions. Credit for image J. Fitzgerald

And many more challenges ahead...

Challenge: Grandparents Day in USA and Canada

GENEALOGY: BEYOND THE BMD has challenged people who blog about their family genealogy to make their blog this week be about their grandparents.

Grandparents day is this weekend on September 10th in the USA and Canada.

Then there was one more step to it - tell us one story from them they told you.

This is where it will get dicey for me to fulfill this challenge. Why?

1. I can never remember meeting my paternal and maternal grandfathers at all. Long story, but they were not good men, or so I've been told, so they kept us away from them. 
2. My paternal grandmother, the one I was closest and the only one to fully know, would only say a sentence here and there about her growing up years to me. However, there are no stories. Only sentences. 
3. My maternal grandmother, and the one I carry her middle name, I only seen a handful of times in my life. Those times she was drugged up by the nursing home staff due to her mental state. 

So, as you can see, I had a very happy home life growing up and this will be a challenge for me to fulfill.

My family tree leading back to my grandparents are:

My Family Tree made by myself for Grandparents Day on Sept 10th

Sadly, all of my grandparents are gone now. In fact, I didn't even have pictures for three of them until about 2-3 years ago, when I started researching and talking to cousins.

Maternal Grandparents
These are on my mother's side. As you can see, from the tree above, these are Janet and Louis we're talking about.

Janet Gauquie

Janet - I met her only a few times before and she was in a nursing home. She had many health complaints along with other factors which kept her in homes since around the time my parents married until her death.

Memory:
One of the best memories I have is when my mother signed her out of the nursing home and brought her to our house for Thanksgiving one year. I was about 8, 9 or 10 years old. The word got out and my brother and all of sisters and their families came along and we joined every table we had and brought as many chairs as we could and sat around the entire table. Talk about a full room. I was able to sit next to my grandmother as the meal progressed.

The sad part is my grandmother sat there looking around at everyone, but didn't eat, drink or say anything. I kept asking if she wanted a drink, some food but she just looked at me. She was on that much medication from the nursing home she probably didn't even know her own name. However, she was there and we all made it known how much we loved her.

Louis Gauquie

Louis - I never met him at all to my knowledge. In fact, my mother would only tell me about stuff he did and said how he treated Janet.

As you can see, on my mother's side, there wasn't much on an influence at all by these people unless you look at how the affected my mother, which was substantial from what I can now see and understand.

Paternal Grandparents
These are on my father's side. As you can see, from the tree above, these are Mathew/Matthew and Jean we're talking about.

Mathew Schmitz taken from his Naturalization paperwork

Mathew/Matthew - I never met, either, as to my knowledge. My father wouldn't bring him up at all. My grandmother would only call him names and get a sour face when he was mentioned.

Jean Schmitz

One of the pictures of me and my grandmother.

Jean - Jean is the only major influence of my life. She's the one that drove my mother to West Point when I was born. She used to have me stay with her two weeks of my summer vacation when I was in school. She was always trying to dress me up in dresses, which I didn't like and it used to annoy her because she wanted a granddaughter that loved to shop and wear frilly things. *shutter*

Stories/Sentences:
Growing up I would hear kids in school talk about their grandparents and stories about their families growing up. We never talked about the past in my family - at all. However, when I was staying with my grandmother, Jean, she would sometimes say things in sentences.

• I loved playing in the Bug and another River with my cousins growing up. We had such great times!
• That was my father's brother. He's gone now. They are all gone now. Assassinated and murdered. 
• *((** Germans! *(&(*& Russians. They can all go to hell! 

Aug 16 1915 The Register Page 5

Aug 16 1915
Marybourgh Chronicle Wide Bay &
Burnett Advertiser Page 4

March 15 1920 The Sun Sydney, Page 8

I heard the names and other statements growing up being called to and at me. This was in the 1980s and I was dealing with the name calling because of having a German last name of Schmitz, but it was the Polish names which were the worst. You can tell if people call you things just to get on your nerves and teasing, but these were things they meant by the looks on their faces. Think of the TV show All In The Family and how they used to call people things. That was as a joke. It got worse if people meant what they were saying. Things like this stay with you a lifetime.

Putting lives back together

Jimmy's wings he earned just before his death

I started my whole journey into genealogy because of two people. One, my mother's cousin, Jimmy, and what happened to him. The other was my grandmother, Jean, and these sentences she would say over and over again. Add this to the tiny cups she gave me when I was young, and I needed to know more about who these people were which made up - Me.

You take what information you are given and work with it until you can put their lives back together as much as you can to feel like you know the person. Jean has given me this and through research, swearing (and there's been A LOT), and determination I have found out what my grandmother most likely went through during most of her lifetime.  I have written many entries in this blog regarding them and each time I find new information out, I sit back in awe of what this little 4 foot 10 inch person did in her life.

Makes mine seem dull and very safe in comparison.