Cemetery Crawl - Ancestors in 52 Weeks

 Another prompt by 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks challenge. It's run by Amy Johnson Crow.

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Cemeteries are such special places; I feel drawn even to those where I don't have any ancestors buried. Which cemetery is special in your family's history? Do you have a story about "visiting" a special relative?

The first cemetery I was in was when my grandmother died and at her ceremony at Cedar Hill Cemetery in Newburgh, NY.  It was interesting because I wasn't sure what to expect, but I arrive just as the ceremony was beginning. I stood on the sidelines watching the ceremony and the people. There were A LOT of people. I had to fight my mother to be there because she wasn't going to even take me to this - her boyfriend ended up driving me and she stayed at home. I was 15 years old. 

My grandmother and I before her passing in 1988. Credit: M. Schmitz

As they finished up, it started to lightly rain. My stepmother came over to me, told me "She would want you to have this" and shoved an umbrella at me, turned and left. I grabbed the umbrella because that's all I could do. I turned and got back into the car and went home. No one else acknowledged me nor ever brought up that day. 

I never went into another one until I moved to Australia and a friend of ours died. Once again I wasn't sure of what to expect nor of what was to be done. Since then, I've gotten accustomed to them. I was at my uncle's ceremonies, my brother's, and various other people here in Australia. 

All this before I really got into genealogy. 

Once I started to get into genealogy and found out more, I relaxed more around them. Although, I'm more of a person who would rather walk around where I know someone's body is buried rather than walk over it. When or If I do, I tell them sorry, because I know I'd hate someone to be walking all over me if I were in their place. 

Since then, we've gone looking for relatives last resting spots, helping photograph smaller cemeteries, and helping where we can. Because of this we're confident and have gotten used to walking around them. I know how to act and what to do and how to look things up. 

Now when we go over to the US, we do visiting rounds of the cemeteries - cleaning grass or ice around them if need be and make sure they are all doing fine. I still have a few more I have to find and go to visit, but as we were on a timetable last time, we made much progress and will go and see others as we can. 

My grandmother and her partner Charles. We visited and cleaned off the ice on top of their headstones in 2019. Credit: J. Fitzgerald

We located my great grandparents and grandmother in a cemetery in 2019. We will now go and visit them when we go back each time. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald

Recently, my mother in law passed away. My husband had a small chat with her before she was unable to communicate with us about where she wanted to be buried/cremated and what she wanted. She gave us a tiny bit of instruction - cremated and down with her grandmother and soon to be mother. She had her mother, my husband's grandmother's cremains, still with her when she passed. We were able to go down to where they were and lay her to rest as she wanted. 

My husband added some stuff to bring along with us: a sweater/jumper she liked, a knitted cover that covered her until her last breath, a quilt I had started for her but hadn't finished (am working on it as a memorial quilt now), some jewelry she had, and some food/drink to represent both sides of her family's history - alcohol from the area in Ireland where she had relatives and some Yorkshire puddings to represent that side of her family. 

May 2021 - At the grave site 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald

My husband said a few things, had a bit of a cry, and wished them all a Happy Mother's Day. Yep, she was laid to rest on Mother's Day. 

This being said, we had spent a few hours visiting and laying her to rest on the day. 

Credit: J. Fitzgerald

We will keep visiting, because its important to keep in mind those that had come before us.