This year's challenge is 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks and is run by
Amy Johnson Crow.
Topic Info:
This week, it's the sisters' turn. Like we did last week with "Brother," feel free to consider other ways of interpreting "sister."
Like last week's prompt regarding
my brother, this week is about my sisters. I have 3 of them - all of them older.
Let's see...what can I write about them where its socially acceptable? This is going to be difficult.
Let's start at the beginning... I'm one of five kids Matthew and Jo Ann Schmitz had. I was less than 4 years old when they divorced after my mother left my father. I'm the youngest, with my brother being the next youngest in line.
The siblings above him are all girls - my sisters.
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This picture taken in the 1960s with my brother with our 3 older sisters. Credit M Schmitz |
The oldest is Theresa. She lived in
New York until the middle 1990s when she moved to
Kansas. She's had 3 daughters. She's had 3 husbands she's married. One she divorced. One was arrested, left and never to be heard of again. The last one died and left her a widow. Apparently, when I was a baby, she took care of me until she moved out and got married. I still visited growing up, so she could help Mom with childcare for me.
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Taken in 2012, Theresa and I in Australia during her visit. Credit: J. Fitzgerald |
The second oldest is Genevieve, but we call her Jean. She lived in
New York until the early 1990s, when her, her husband and 2 children moved south to one of the
Carolinas. She thinks she's a combination of princess and queen but really she's just a pain in the ass (to put it bluntly). She divorced her husband, lived with someone else, and from what I was told she married again. I used to go around and see her growing up. However, she started to go off in her own merry little way, which I wanted no part of so we had a falling out and haven't spoken in awhile.
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Taken in the 1980s, Jean and I in Newburgh where we grew up. Credit. M. Schmitz |
The third is Debra, but we call her Debbie. She lived in
New York until about 2010 before moving to
Pennsylvania. She married when she was younger, then divorced. She met her partner of over 20 years and they lived together - never marrying. She had a son with him. The relationship failed and she moved on before marrying around 2010. She's currently married. Debbie's a bit different than the others. When Mom left Dad, she was the one to help our brother and myself out of the house. Then she helped watch me for a few years before moving out. Lost contact for a bit before reconnecting for a short while. Then started to get close again before losing contact once again. Then the cycle repeated itself over and over.
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Taken in January 2019, Debbie and I in VFW New Paltz where we had our brother's get together after his service. Credit. J. Fitzgerald |
I think this is about the most politically correct way I could summarize them and our relationship. Of course there's the added complication of stilling alive, which I don't normally write about. This is the main reason why there's such little information - to protect their privacy.
Of course, they also have faults, like we all do, but they seem to have the same fault, which I will not go into here, but it frustrates me and frustrated our brother.
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Debbie, Charlie, Theresa and Dad in 2008. Credit T. Schmitz |
However, if you make them mad or go against what they think, then you are iced out and not spoken to. At all. In fact, what makes them just that unique is that they ice you out and you don't even know it. So they stop communication with your completely and won't return calls or basically talk to you and if they do it's completely ice in their voices. Yep, makes for a great healthy relationships that's for sure. In fact, I can probably safely say, if they read this, I'll be even more in the iced out part. Not that it'll matter as Theresa has iced me (dunno why other than political differences), Jean and I haven't spoken in years, and Debbie has the husband or just floats away and contacts you when she feels like it. Yep, gonna get iced out, but oh well.
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*Shug* Truth is difficult sometimes. Credit |
I guess the biggest example I can give is when our brother died. I showed up and tried to help as much as I could from a 1/2 world away. Theresa was contacted but even after being told many times she had a full ride, she couldn't or wouldn't attend. Her excuse was her boss wouldn't give her time. Really? Jean, well, first we didn't have any way to contact her. I tried via her kids and they don't talk to her. Then I tried via a mutual friend, which worked but first she gave excuses as to why she couldn't even call and then said point blank she wasn't going or calling. And finally Debbie. I had an old phone number because she's changed it after I called her, but her current husband doesn't like me (and personally I think anyone) calling her to talk. Anyhow, I contacted her son, which contacted her. Then she called our father and attended the service for our brother.
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Sometimes my head hurts like this guy above because of this stuff. Credit |
Pretty messed up? Ahhhh but this has been the ways of our relationships forever. Remember, they are your family and, unfortunately, you cannot choose them. They've been chosen for you. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly. Repeat when needed when dealing with this stuff.
Ahh siblings and family! !
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